Life After Marriage and How it Relates to Highschool Characteristics

By Evie Melvin

You may be thinking, by the title, what does marriage have to do with a high school? Hopefully, by the end of this article you will be able to relate this to the constant seeking of companionship in the high-school world. Possible high-school situations like problem-solving, friendship, romantic relationships, and cherished memories could be helped and better understood with the advice from this article. It’s amazing to me how much I can relate and use the advice found here in my everyday highschool life.  Marriage is so much more than what we are told it is in the beginning. There was a television show based on newly married couples called The Newlyweds. The image of marriage given to us when we are young is stigmatized by the influence of shows like that.  Marriage should be what it is in the beginning - which isn’t true. Marriage grows, and as you will see in the article below, it becomes so much more than what it starts out as.  Many people talk about the best times during the engagement, but not many dive into questions about the life after the marriage is older. How does it work? Do you have any advice? Please enjoy this interview with my parents and their candid answers after being married for 19 years.

Interviewees: Randy and Amy Melvin

1. What memories do you recall that led you to marry one another?

Amy: One of the memories I remember, is when Randy and I used to ride on the four wheeler when we were young. He used to always make sure to stop the branches from hitting me in the head. Another one is when I had my daughter Katie-Lee, I was sitting in the car and a song came on that they were both familiar with. Katie sang her heart out and Randy rapped every part there was. It was a duet between the two of them and it made my heart melt.

Randy: When Amy was a senior in high school, I went to Norfolk with her parents to watch her sing. She was in the honors choir. Another one was when we were both young and we rode the same school bus, I used to pinch her butt when she got up to get off the bus.

Author’s notes: When asking these kind of questions to a married couple, they tend to reminisce of the good days. It almost seems as if they wish it was that simple again.

2. Who decided to get married first?

Randy: We both decided together. We sat down one night and said, “let’s get married.”

Author’s notes: Usually when proposed to the man is on one knee and all that big comotion. The fact that a married couple can survive life after marriage after just agreeing to marry each other is amazing. It shows how two can affect one another. You don’t always need to have that big sign with a giant ring, if you love someone, anything will do.

3. How did you two get married?

Amy: We went to the court house, after a couple of months of engagement and got it done. We don’t doddle much once we make up our mind. Then we went to Outback right after and had our “honeymoon.”

Author’s notes:  There are many ways someone can get married. They can have a giant wedding somewhere at the beach, or they can have a little wedding in a courthouse somewhere. It really doesn’t matter. If you love the person, where you become one, doesn’t matter.

4. How would you describe life now that you have been married?

Amy: Um, It’s good but it takes work. It’s not like a story book. Its commitment. It’s communication, and a lot of leg scratching.

Author’s notes: Marriage is work, but people still do it. When you love someone it is easy to not want to work for things you think you have. That isn’t the case, just because you have all that you want doesn’t mean your significant other does. It is a constant learning curve, but you will want to change for it because love does that to you.

5. What aspect of marriage were you most surprised by?

Randy: I was most surprised by how much work it was. You’d think it would be simple and easy but it’s not.  Love makes it worth it but it won’t be enough if you don’t work for it. Anything worth having is worth working for.

Author’s notes: No newly wed couple thinks of the hardships that are bound to come. No one realizes the work required for marriage either, but these are the things that are simple fixes. As long as you and your significant other can help each other through the hard work and hardships, you will thrive together.

6. What do you think the most challenging part of being married is?

Randy: I think it is figuring out where we are going to eat.

Amy: I think it is raising kids together.

Author’s notes: There are many challenges married couples face. Whether it is children or picking where to eat, these challenges are easily fixed when you work together on them. It isn’t always going to be a walk in the park, sometimes you have to make a decision together that will change your whole lives.

7. What is the greatest obstacle you've overcome together?

Randy: We’re still working on that one.

Amy: Life.

Randy: Life is hard.   It is difficult and it's always changing. It is like there are multiple obstacles wrapped up within one giant obstacle.

Author’s notes: Life is the biggest challenge married couples will face. It can come up and hit you in the face and you’re going to need that one person to pick you up and dust you off. It is easier to deal with life with someone, rather than being alone.

8. What is your favorite date you’ve experienced as a married couple and why?

Randy: Any date where we don’t have to have any kids with us. It’s just me and her.

Amy: My favorite date is riding around with him, going places I have never seen before. With my Mello Yellow and snacks. Usually combos. It's the time spent not so much the places gone.

Randy: Yes because that's what she likes.

Author’s Notes: Dates are a big part of being married. No matter what, you have to make time for just you and them. This builds strong bonds between the two of you, and in turn makes you both stronger.

9. If you could give any advice to young adults getting married what would it be?

Randy: Never go to bed mad and her dreams become your dreams.

Amy: Communication is key and you have to work at it, because life is hard and it will change. Money gets tight, kids will run into issues - things like that make it hard so you have to work through it together.

Author’s notes: Advice is always needed when it comes to marriage. So many newlyweds don’t know how to handle being married. To have advice from married couples, that is a blessing.

10. Where do you picture yourselves together in 10 years?

Amy: Traveling more, doing things we like to do instead of what the kids like to do.

Randy: Whatever she is doing that is what I’ll be doing.

Author’s notes: Having plans for the future is good for the both of you. This gives you something to look forward to together. Something to move towards.

All in all, life after marriage is a ride, just like life in high school. It’s important to note the commitment these two had to each other; that they were willing to work through tough times together.  We can learn from their example for many things in our highschool life today. Communicating with each other on needs, issues, and bullying; being considerate to others feelings and helping each other work through tough situations.  High school is very similar to a marriage in that the students are in it together and the better their relationships, the healthier the high school.